imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
