I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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