I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
where are my eyebrows?
ok first of all what the fuck
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
