I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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