He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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