there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
