She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
