he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Can you bring me the toilet please
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize