is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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