hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
