every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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