i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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