Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
