I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
