Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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