is your mom at the bar?
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize