I want you more than these girls want KFC
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
