i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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