one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I currently don't understand fingers.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
