If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
