you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
