we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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