Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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