i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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