i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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