I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
