I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
