And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
