We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
not ubering you a puppy
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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