if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
