I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
