Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
