so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i think my cat just said my name.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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