those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
