I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
