Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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