Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You are the jesus of drinking
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
