Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
