So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize
