go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
