maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
