You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
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