I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
as a side note pls kill me
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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