yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The power of my boobs compel you
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
