: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
