Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
