after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i now understand why vodka
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
