I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
