it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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