tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
pop tarts are not kleenex
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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