Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
