i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Randomize
