i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
