he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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