I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
