I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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