Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
