I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
