That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
