Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
