my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize