and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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