Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Welp...herpes.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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