I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
