Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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