No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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