He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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